October musings

I love October, the colours and smells of Autumn.I celebrate my Silver wedding anniversary this month.I have been with my husband for 30 years.My life changed when I met him, for he encouraged me and empowered me.
He is supportive of my spiritual path ,though he does not walk a Pagan path himself.He has always attended Pagan moots and conferences and Groves with me in the past as he likes the company of pagans and real ale!
I help to care for my elderly parents and he is supportive with that too.We helped to care for his elderly mother when she developed dementia for over 9 years before we had to place her in care home nearby.Now my own parents have dementia and Parkinson's disease respectively.I take my turn with my brothers and sisteers to care for them.Not easy with such a dysfunctional family!I focus on the practicalities and the present, not dwelling on the past.
Needless to say we both work hard to keep fit and healthy.I have learned to live with the pattern of having energy and feeling fatigued that MS brings.
So  the wheel of life turns.I don't have the enthusiasm and drive I had when younger but still persist with my spiritual practices and studies.They define for me who I am.
Most of my work is invisible to others, sending absent healing with a group from White Eagle Lodge for both animals and humans, helping causes for the environment, human beings and animals ,tending my family.
My lovely daughter is living near where she works and developing into a wonderful teacher.She has a great gift with children.Even at 8 years of age she was the only one in the school who could calm an autistic classmate and coax her down from the playground trees.

Young people here in UK have such a hard time,my generation was lucky and privileged with free education at university and more chances of getting work.

I'm working with Avalonian mysteries right now and moving more towards a magical practice rather than witchcraft,though I celebrate the Celtic Wheel of the year and will go to to a local pagan moot soon as they are having afternoon moots rather than evening-so many have young children ,including a friend who had twin boys last Samhain!
May anyone who stumbles upon my hermitage here have a wonderful October..

Autumn Equinox is here!A time of balance when we have 12 hours of light and 12 of darkness.my favourite time of year approaches.
I have been reflecting on where I am at this Autumn in my own life.feeling disllusioned and dispirited with some of the Pagan world (mostly brought on by Youtube making me feel truly disconnected.....)
So I am making a list ,well a map of my life as it is now to sort out who I am and what I what to do.Studying with a mystery school,as I have in the past.A big challenge as I am dyslexic and have lived in my own world since early childhood.
being 60 is a time of feeling disempowered somewhat.I am retired from work,my daughter is independent and living her own life,I am virtually estranged from my family save my daughter and devoted husband.
The people who have studied the same courses as me are writing their books and doing their workshops.Is this what all pagan paths lead to?
I still feel in my heart that the shamanic path is the one I connect to most.It is  a whole way of life for me.It is also SIMPLE Many of the people on the courses I took are yes,doing the workshops and writing the books (regurgitating a lot of the same material)but my path has been simpler.Quietly healing the background ,catching glimpses of magical worlds and beings.I left a well known healing clinic after volunteering for 9 years as some of the healers were developing inflated egos.I seem to see egos everywhere :(
The great spiritualist medium Maisie Butler Besaint saw me over 30 years again and said to me when I walked in "Ah.the rebel..." Yes I am in some ways.It is a very solitary walk but a very privileged one,

WINDS OF CHANGE

Strong winds blowing outside and I feel restless and in need of some letting go.Pruning dead relationships and situations which hold me back.Closed my Youtube channel because I felt very much an outsider in the Pagan community.Too many American Wiccans saying the same old stuff and sadly some Bitchcraft.Too many boring tarot reading videos and moneymaking attempts of others.
I learned during Shamanic training that telling everyone of your private visions and journeys dissipates your power.
I love all the eco and vegan channels so will still look in.Don't feel I have words of wonder to say which will bewitch and retain viewers!
Pruning some family ties too.There is only so much abuse you can put up with and sometimes you have to wipe away the fantasy and see what your siblings and parents are really like.better to be alone than treated so cruelly.Look after yourself and love yourself.Value yourself and enjoy life.

Simple life,simple soul.: The Hearth

Simple life,simple soul.: The Hearth: In the word "Hearth" is heart.Fire has always been my favourite element and I love the warmth and crackle of a fire be in the home fireplace...

The Hearth

In the word "Hearth" is heart.Fire has always been my favourite element and I love the warmth and crackle of a fire be in the home fireplace or a campfire with friends seated around.
Fire is the element of transformation and this is happening to me now in many aspects of my life.
I'm working through a soul programme for the first months of 2012 using the four elements.Air_mental issues,communication:Earth-body:Water -emotions and fire transformation,change.
I started the Earth element by joining a yoga class and hope to add aims and thoughts to each element.
I hope to learn how improve the appearance and content of my blog too!

The hearth