Autumn Equinox is here!A time of balance when we have 12 hours of light and 12 of darkness.my favourite time of year approaches.
I have been reflecting on where I am at this Autumn in my own life.feeling disllusioned and dispirited with some of the Pagan world (mostly brought on by Youtube making me feel truly disconnected.....)
So I am making a list ,well a map of my life as it is now to sort out who I am and what I what to do.Studying with a mystery school,as I have in the past.A big challenge as I am dyslexic and have lived in my own world since early childhood.
being 60 is a time of feeling disempowered somewhat.I am retired from work,my daughter is independent and living her own life,I am virtually estranged from my family save my daughter and devoted husband.
The people who have studied the same courses as me are writing their books and doing their workshops.Is this what all pagan paths lead to?
I still feel in my heart that the shamanic path is the one I connect to most.It is  a whole way of life for me.It is also SIMPLE Many of the people on the courses I took are yes,doing the workshops and writing the books (regurgitating a lot of the same material)but my path has been simpler.Quietly healing the background ,catching glimpses of magical worlds and beings.I left a well known healing clinic after volunteering for 9 years as some of the healers were developing inflated egos.I seem to see egos everywhere :(
The great spiritualist medium Maisie Butler Besaint saw me over 30 years again and said to me when I walked in "Ah.the rebel..." Yes I am in some ways.It is a very solitary walk but a very privileged one,